Title: Chapter Twenty-One: First Impressions and Second Chances
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Finn/Rachel, Sam/Mercedes, Mike/Tina, Artie/Brittany, background Brittany/Santana,
Genre: Romance/Drama/AU, Slash (obviously)
Rating: eventual NC-17
Spoilers: Up to Season 2 Episode 22 (New York)
Overall Story Warnings: Violence, Strong Language, homophobic and biophobic language, explicit sex, underage drinking and drug use, high risk sexual behavior, emotional manipulation, bullying, racial slurs, implied suicidal thoughts...will add appropriate warnings for individual chapters
Summary: What Blaine Anderson wants, Blaine Anderson gets and from the moment he meets Kurt Hummel on the stairs at Dalton Academy he's determined that the beautifully broken boy will be no exception. When lust turns to love and Kurt becomes more than a conquest, Blaine shows just how far the boy who has everything is willing to go for love- the one thing he's never had.
A/N: *peeks out* is anyone still reading this? I know it's been wow-four months-but I hope that are some some of you still sticking around. For those of you who don't follow my Tumblr the reason it took so long for me to update is as follows: I got switched from working part time days to full time overnights during the summer. Add to that my daughters were out on summer vacation so when I did have days off, I was totally on mommy duty AND I'm planning a wedding and had issues with my anxiety cropping back up...it's been a really rough few months. But things have settled down and I'm back to a "somewhat" stable schedule so...you guys get an update. It's my sincere hope that you guys enjoy it and thank you so much for patience and understanding.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. If I did Blaine wouldn't have cheated on Kurt with a lighthouse.
Warnings: Internalized homophobia, language, mentions of violence, slight physical violence, homophobic language/slurs, slightly detailed description of a panic attack
Chapter specific warnings: homophobic language, very vague description of the beginning of a panic attack, references to bullying
Previous Chapters: Chapter One: Maybe We're Victims of Fate // Chapter Two: The Root of All Evil // Chapter Three: The Disease That We Crave // Chapter Four: Coffee Republic // Chapter Five: The End Of The Rave // Chapter Six: Hits and Misses // Chapter Seven: Running Up That Hill // Chapter Eight: The Hole That We Call Our Home //Chapter Nine: No excuses, No Apologies, No Regrets // Chapter Ten: Last Friday Night Was Like A G6 // Chapter Eleven: All Apologies // Chapter Twelve: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back // Chapter Thirteen: Come On Fallen Star // Chapter Fourteen: Sweet Dreams and Inevitable Realities // Chapter Fifteen: Explanations and Realizations // Chapter Sixteen: Without You I'm Nothing// Chapter Seventeen: Every Me and Every You// Chapter Eighteen: Begin As We Mean To Go On// Chapter Nineteen: Sugar, We're Going Down// Chapter Twenty: Watch The Bed Burn (Part I)// Chapter Twenty: Watch The Bed Burn (Part II)// Chapter Twenty: Watch The Bed Burn (Part III) // Chapter Twenty-One:First Impressions and Second Chances (Part I)
Chapter Twenty-One: First Impressions and Second Chances (Part Two)
"Kurt? Baby, we've been sitting in the driveway for twenty minutes," Blaine said, leaning over the console and rubbing a soothing circle into Kurt's shoulder. It seemed as if Kurt had used up every bit of his confidence when he'd faced down Jasper at breakfast and he was regressing to the broken shell of a boy he'd been when Blaine had found him the night before. "They know we're here. Your stepmother keeps looking out the window and I'm pretty sure your father is ready to come out here and climb into the SUV with us if you don't get in there."
"I just need a little more time," Kurt said, his voice breaking as if he were on the edge of full blown panic.
"Baby you got this," Blaine said encouragingly. "Look, worse comes to worse, I'll get you out of there and take you back to mine but you gotta go in there."
Kurt nodded jerkily, trying to get his breathing under control. "Right, right. This is so wrong," he said leaning his head against the steering wheel. "I have never in my life been afraid to walk through my own front door and now? I can't imagine anything more terrifying than what's waiting for me on the other side."
"What's waiting for you on the other side is a father that loves you and a woman who wants to help him care for you and-"
"And Finn," Kurt cut Blaine off bitterly. "Finn and all the things he hates about me are waiting for me on the other side of that door."
"That's your home," Blaine told him. "That's your family. Don't let Finn chase you out of it."
"I'm not," Kurt denied quickly. "I'm just…enjoying the interior of my baby."
Blaine sighed. "Okay, that's it. Remove your ass from the heated leather seats and go talk to your father."
Kurt raised his head and glared at Blaine. "Interesting approach but I'll take hell no for 300, Alex."
"Blaine. I can do this all day," Kurt warned before dropping his head back onto the steering wheel and closing his eyes.
"No you can't," Blaine drawled.
"You wanna bet?"
"I'm pretty sure I'd win that one."
"Oh yeah? And why is that?"
"Because your dad's almost to the car," Blaine said smugly.
Kurt's head snapped up at the same time Burt knocked on the driver's side door.
"Dad," Kurt said letting the window down.
"Listen buddy, I'm not gonna pretend that I know how you feel right now," Burt said cutting Kurt off. "But this thing isn't gonna get any better with us in there and you out here. It's time for you to come inside so we can talk about this like a family. Blaine-"
"I want Blaine with me," Kurt interrupted his father, gripping tightly onto Blaine's hand.
"I kinda figured that when I saw him in the car son," Burt sighed. "Blaine, thank you for taking care of him last night."
"It was my pleasure, sir." Blaine replied and then winced as he realized that Burt's eye had been drawn to the hickey Blaine had left on Kurt that morning.
"I'll just bet it was," Burt replied darkly. "I thought I told you not to take advantage of him."
"Dad, he didn't" Kurt said immediately. "You have no right or reason to be angry at Blaine. Nothing happened last night and this," Kurt gestured to the hickey, "happened with my full consent and participation."
Burt exhaled harshly and closed his eyes briefly before opening them and nodding. "Alright kid, one thing at a time. We'll talk about that," he said pointing to the side of Kurt's neck, "later. And I do mean we, Blaine. Right now let's get in there and sit down with Finn and Carole and work this thing out, huh?"
Kurt nodded and he and Blaine both opened their doors and slipped from the car. Kurt waited for Blaine to come around the car and grab his hand before he followed his father up the walk and into the house.
"Hi honey," Carole said, coming over to embrace Kurt as soon as he walked through the door. "I'm glad you're home," she said kissing the top of his head and giving him a squeeze.
"Hey Carole," Kurt greeted her, unable to tear his eyes away from the sofa where Finn sat.
"Hey Kurt," Finn said awkwardly, getting up from his seat and crossing the room. "I'm really sorry and I'm glad you're alright and I'm glad you're home, dude." He said, stepping towards Kurt and opening his arms.
"Nuh uh," Kurt said immediately taking a step back and holding up a finger. "Don't touch me," he said, leaning back against Blaine who immediately drew Kurt into his side and glared at Finn.
"Y-yeah, okay. I won't, I just…sorry," Finn mumbled, regret and misery etched into his face as he shuffled back across the room and sat back down.
"Okay, ah," Burt said clearing his throat. "How about we all take a seat and start talking this thing out."
Kurt dropped onto the loveseat, pulling Blaine down beside him and Burt went and took the seat on the sofa, as close as he could possibly get to Kurt, placing Finn in between the two adults.
"Kurt-" Burt began.
"I'm so sorry," Finn burst out. "I know what I did was wrong, like really wrong and it hurt you, I hurt you and I hate that. I hate that I hurt you. I hate that I put that look on your face. I hate that you didn't come home last night and I hate that-"
"You hate that I'm gay!" Kurt shouted, cutting Finn off. "Why don't you just say what you really mean, Finn? You sure didn't have a problem last night letting everyone know how you felt about me. What'd you call me again, Finn? Oh yeah, a queer, cocksucking, fa-"
"Hey now!" Burt thundered. "That's enough of that. Kurt, you have every right to be upset-"
"Oh well now that I have your permission dad," Kurt snarked.
"Watch it, now," Burt warned him, putting a hand up. "We're gonna talk this out. But nobody's gonna yell, and nobody's gonna scream and nobody," he stressed, looking at both Kurt and Finn, "is gonna use those words in this house. Are we clear?"
Kurt nodded and Burt continued. "Now, seems like the first thing we gotta do is make some apologies-"
"Fine. I'll go first. I apologize for liking cock," Kurt spat out.
"Baby, that's not helping."
"Dude, come on."
"That's enough, Kurt," Burt said tiredly. "Son, I know that you're hurt and you're angry and I don't blame you but being like this isn't gonna help us get this thing solved."
"Maybe I don't want to get this thing solved," Kurt yelled. "Maybe I don't want to have to make Finn feel better about being a homophobic dick. And maybe I don't want to make you feel less guilty for not moving us away to someplace where I could grow up without being tortured for just existing every day of my life. Maybe I'm tired of always trying to make it easy on everyone else when no one ever tries to make it any easier for me!"
The look of pain on his father's face had Kurt instantly regretting his outburst. "Dad-"
"Don't," Burt said, running a shaking hand over his head. "Don't apologize. You uh, you been holding that in for awhile, huh kid?"
"I know you did your best-"
"Doesn't seem like my best has been quite up to snuff though," Burt noted.
"No, dad it is. You, you're amazing. You're the best dad I could have ever hoped for, I didn't mean it-"
"Yeah you did, buddy and it's okay," Burt cut his son off. "I've made mistakes. I didn't know just how many until this whole thing blew up but that's no excuse. I need to apologize to you for my part in this and I need for you to be honest with me about what you need and how you feel and what you've been going through because son, all I want to do is make this better for you."
Kurt felt a tear slip down his cheek but before he could bring his hand up, Blaine was wiping it away with the pad of his thumb. Kurt gave him a watery smile and then met his father's gaze.
"I just need some peace," Kurt said brokenly. "I need to be able to go to school without being thrown into dumpsters or shoved into lockers or unable to use the bathroom because the boys restroom isn't safe and unless I'm with one of my girls I get dirty looks when I go into the ladies room. I need to go a week without getting bruises on top of my bruises. I need to not panic every time the phone rings or be afraid every time I'm out by myself and a group of people notice me. I need one place where it's okay for me to be me and I used to have that and now it's gone and I don't know what to do."
"Oh Kurt honey, you still have that," Carole said gently. "Your home will always be a safe place for you."
"Is Finn moving out?" Kurt asked bitterly.
"No," Burt said quietly.
"Then this isn't such a safe place for me now is it?"
"Yes it is, Kurt," Finn interrupted. "Last night was awful man. And it wasn't just because I hurt you and made you feel so bad you didn't come home. I don't like the person I was last night. I don't like that side of myself," Finn confessed. "I got some stuff I gotta work on and some of it's about you and some of it's not. Like, I know my temper is kind of a joke to people. 'Ooh Hudson's angry, hide the chairs' but I don't like that person. I don't like the guy that was throwing punches in Breadstix last night and I don't like the guy that goes along with the crowd even when it makes him feel like crap and I really don't like the guy who makes you feel like it's not okay for you to be who you are. That guy sucks."
"He really does," Kurt agreed.
"I don't wanna be that guy," Finn said, sliding forward so Kurt could see him better. "I don't wanna be the guy that thinks taking a stand means holding your jacket while my teammates throw you in the dumpster. I don't want to be the guy that gets so angry that his fists start flying and his mouth starts moving before his brain can tell him to stop. I don't want to be the guy who has a problem with you being gay," Finn finished.
"Then don't be," Kurt said.
"I need help," Finn admitted. "Like, I know there are all these things that I don't like about who I've been and I want to change them but I don't know how."
"You don't have to do it alone honey," Carole said, covering Finn's hand with hers. "That's what family is for. We're here to help you, both of you," she said looking at Kurt, "but you two have got to let us in."
"So what are we going to do?" Kurt asked. "I mean, all these good intentions are great but…"
"Well for one thing we're all going to start going to PFLAG meetings," Carole answered. "It'll be good for Finn, your father and I to learn how to be better allies to you and it'll give you a chance to get some support and maybe not feel so alienated."
"That sounds…like a really good idea," Kurt said.
"They have meetings on the fourth Sunday of every month so first one we'll be able to go to is next Sunday," Burt said. He looked at Blaine. "You're welcome to join us, Blaine if you want."
Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand. "Thank you Mr. Hummel. I appreciate being included."
"You're important to Kurt," Burt admitted. "You took care of him last night and you're sitting here with him now. That counts for a lot, kiddo. Plus, I figure there's no such thing as having too much support."
Blaine nodded and Kurt turned to Finn. "You're actually okay with this? Going to PFLAG? You know it won't just be allies? LGBTQ means lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning," Kurt said. "Are you really going to be comfortable and able to keep from freaking out if there people there who are different from what you're used to?"
"I know I don't have the right to ask but have a little faith in me, dude. I was on the computer earlier and I looked up some stuff…I know that's not much but I really am trying. The site I was on said the first step to combating ignorance is education…so I'm getting educated. I know I have a lot to work on and make up for," Finn said. "And I know it won't be easy and I know that you don't trust me right now and you might even hate me a little bit but I promise Kurt, I'm gonna make this up to you."
Kurt gave Finn a tiny smile. "I'm glad that you're educating yourself-and it means a lot to me that you're willing to try, Finn. But I won't lie to you. I don't know how long it's going to take us to be okay again," Kurt said slowly. "I don't know if you'll ever be able to get me to trust you again but I'm willing to give you the opportunity to try," Kurt said.
Finn nodded. "I kinda feel like that's more than I deserve so, thanks."
"Finn, you aren't entirely terrible okay," Kurt sighed. "Yeah what you did hurt. And I'm not over it and I probably won't be for a long time, if ever, but the guy that was screaming those things in Breadstix isn't the sum total of who you are. You're also the guy that rode over with me in the Navigator singing that ridiculous song and had dinner with me and helped me plan our parents wedding. You're more than just your mistakes, Finn."
"Thanks for saying that, dude."
"It's the truth," Kurt shrugged. "I've made my fair share of mistakes-some of them with you. I'd hate for someone to judge me by the worst thing I ever did so…you're trying. I'm trying. We're all trying. It's all we can do."
"Yeah, I guess so. I really wanna get past the trying and get to the doing though," Finn said.
"You and me both," Kurt agreed. "But I don't think there's a short cut here. It's not Glee. We can't sing a song and make this all better. It's just gonna take time and work and probably a lot of more talking and possibly more yelling and I might even set all of your puffy vests on fire before it's all over."
Finn paled and unconsciously pulled on his vest. "Dude."
Kurt shrugged. "They are an abomination and I'd be doing you a favor."
"How about we put giving Finn an extreme makeover on the backburner for now? There's something else Carole and I want to talk about with you," Burt said.
"What's left?" Kurt asked, leaning his head onto Blaine's shoulder.
"Finn told us about some of what you go through at school," Carole said. "Honey, I know that you probably thought you were doing what was best but you can't keep those kinds of things to yourself."
"Carole's right," Burt said. "I know that my heart attack spooked you real bad and you're trying real hard to make things as easy as possible for me but Kurt, I'm the parent here. It's my job to take care of you not the other way around. I told you before that your job is to be yourself and my job is to love you, no matter what. That hasn't changed. That will never change. But the other part of my job is to keep you safe and I haven't been doing that."
"I haven't exactly made that easy for you to do," Kurt admitted. "And I didn't keep it to myself. There are people who know. I told Blaine and he's been great."
"Well, I'm glad that Blaine's been there for you but I would have liked the chance to be there for you too." Burt said evenly. "I get that you were trying to handle things on your own, trying to protect me, trying to be strong but son, you're being abused and I can't let that go on. Now, I know you aren't a baby anymore but you're still a kid and sometimes you gotta let the adults in your life handle things. I got a little more sway than you do so tomorrow we're gonna go to that school and I'm gonna give 'em hell and make sure that nobody lays another finger on you while you're inside of that building."
"Dad, Mr. Schue and I already tried complaining. Principal Figgins said his hands are tied. There's nothing anybody can do. Even the guys in New Directions tried sticking up for me and all that accomplished was Sam getting a black eye and Artie getting knocked out of his chair."
"Did you know about this?" Carole asked Finn
"Finn," Carole began.
"It's not Finn's fault," Kurt said, stopping her. "He gets his fair share too."
"Finn does?" Carole asked, her eyes widening in shock. "You didn't say you were being bullied too."
Finn bit his lip and nodded. "Everybody in Glee kinda gets the suck end of the stick. Except Quinn, Santana and Brittany and that's because no one but Coach Sylvester messes with her Cheerios. For the rest of us though going to school is like…it's like going to war, mom."
"And war is hell," Kurt deadpanned.
"Where are the teachers when all this is going on?"
"Hiding most likely," Kurt said.
"Well I'm going with Burt up to that school," Carole declared. "This is ridiculous. I will not have my boys being subjected to harassment and assault while they're supposed be safe at school. You said that all the kids in Glee are bullied?"
Finn and Kurt nodded. "It's not just us Glee kids who get bullied, but yeah. We're kind of wearing permanent Kick Me signs," Finn explained.
"Well, then Burt and I won't be going alone," Carole announced. "I'm going to get the phone and call of your friends parents and let them know what's been happening to their children and I'm sure that once they realize that school has turned a blind eye to their children being relentlessly bullied they'll be more than happy to join Burt and I in giving Figgins a piece of our minds."
"I wish you luck," Kurt said. "It would be nice for the school day not to consist of slushies and locker slams but I won't expect any miracles."
"You just wait and see," Carole replied.
Kurt smiled and snuggled into Blaine. Burt narrowed his eyes. "Well, now that we got that done. Finn, you're excused. I need to talk to Kurt and Blaine here about a couple of things."
Finn nodded and got up from the sofa. On his way past Kurt he paused for a moment and reached out tentatively and gave Kurt's shoulder a soft squeeze. Before Finn could remove his hand Kurt reached up and squeezed it back.
"So what did you want to talk to us about dad?"
"Oh a lot of things son," Burt said sitting back and crossing his arms. "But I think that hickey on your neck would be a good place to start."
"Dad there's nothing to talk about. What Blaine and I do in our private time is our business."
"You're too young to be having private time."
"I think I'll go get started on those phone calls," Carole said, fighting back a smile.
"No Carole, please don't leave us with him."
"Hey honey before you get started on those calls could you bring me those pamphlets in my desk drawer?"
"Oh my God, dad no come on, not the pamphlets!"
"Pamphlets?" Blaine mouthed to Kurt.
Kurt groaned and buried his head in his hands.
A/N 2: So what did we think of the Kurt/Jasper meeting and the Hudmel family meeting. I know you're probably thinking Blaine was super quiet during that. That's because our Blainers was doing what he does best-plotting. The next chapter is a big one-it's my take on Never Been Kissed.
And in case you're wondering yellow carnations symbolize "disappointment" and pink lilacs mean "acceptance" and the heather symbolizes "good luck."Just as an FYI: Even if takes me until I'm old and gray I will finish this story. It will not be abandoned. To keep informed on updates or delays you can always follow me on my Tumblr here or on my post limit Tumblr here